Much Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a large week for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our first piece relates to you via xojane, the ladies’s site headed right up by Jane Pratt (my character)

(I’m really serious) of




Entitled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion falls under the “It Happened for me” element that also existed at JANE mag and consists mainly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating personal experiences.

The private writer of this portion, exactly who we’ll call “Ariel,” is truly bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies strike tasks to her male lovers but does not date or typically go lower on women, this woman is, she describes, technically, just a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She in addition relates to herself as “mostly straight” and “direct” at different things inside story.) Her reputation began, she explains, when her first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman college — went down on the for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it then instantly fled the scene fearing her very own inability to execute these great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long period of time.

She writes:

“naturally, word got around that she and I had hooked up and that I would remaining the lady clinging, which in fact had the odd effect of giving me personally folk-heroine condition. Kelly labeled as me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I happened to be one. It had been like some kind of motion picture conceit where character is seen erroneously as a celebrity and reaches drive in a limo and remain in an elegant lodge due to it.”

This obviously totally exercised within her favor, as she romped about in college starting up with lots of “aggressive kinds whom got off in the idea that I happened to be unwilling to permit a female touch me.” Post-college, she moved on with the internet, where she advertised her comfortable position and quite often found up with ladies for NSA sex.

Nearby the end she problematically describes that when starting up with a lady she is perhaps not drawn to, she simply shuts the woman vision and envisions somebody else “while [the lesbian] does the woman thing.” Sometimes it may seem like she wishes women for eating her away just because they are presumably better at it than guys are. She


go down to them but “I’m not matchmaking all of them, and I also do not think i might want to have my fetish corrupted by taking care of a person enough to hand back.”

I mightnot need to sit next to Ariel on a plane, but her one-sided sexual activities are consensual and she’s simply informing a genuine tale of her existence, and so I’m not yes what to label of this (and that I’m curious to understand what you create from it, if something).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Men Venture
) we have
We Married a Lesbian (and that I’m some guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes on the same form of lady: the celebrity baseball member, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some were not.” The guy questioned:

What is it that received me personally so frequently to women that happened to be same-sex lured? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy about what these were performing in bed, and it certainly had nothing at all to do with a macho opinion that i possibly could switch a gay lady directly.

In components, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me of the estimate from

Girls Nearby

which I quoted in an article about female manliness

“…if we’d to make one other generalization about lesbian flavor, it will be that the majority of you tend to be powerfully attracted to women, gay or right, beautiful or otherwise not, which look like capable handle themselves.”

Mcdougal in the course of time marries a lesbian which delivered as right, and he discovered their unique ensuing sex-life become unsatisfactory. She would not offer him blow jobs and did not like penetration but gladly accepted his choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their sexless wedding ended in separation and a drug relapse (for him), he is seemingly compassionate to his ex-wife’s battle without labeling her as deceitful (as numerous with the commenters carry out):

She had come from a traditional household who happen seriously embarrassed having a homosexual child. She may always have known, but did their better to conceal it, perhaps hoping that her emotions might change. Or she might-have-been like many women I’ve recognized, and only discovered the woman genuine intimate identity after currently being hitched to one.

What is redeeming concerning this essay for me that the author’s conception of his personal sex is generally without the standard masculine posturing any might count on in an item like this (the guy also refers to themselves as “femmy”). Perhaps it seems that method because men thus hardly ever talk about desiring powerful, sports, effective women with short hair; but it is energizing none the less.

I really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for informing their particular tales, but it is well worth mentioning that both narratives seem to drive in the idea that bedroom conduct is the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning signal” he skipped, when penetration is scarcely a specifically heterosexual work (it seems much more likely Courtney feared the intimacy of entrance with a man she didn’t wish to get with, but really who knows) and slipping in love, in the end, is all about your own snatch but it is in addition about your center and it is mainly about having intimate thoughts. Those enchanting emotions are just what converts a hook-up commitment into a relationship, most likely.

Eventually at


we have a nice tale right from horse’s mouth area —
My Personal First-time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. In my opinion this is basically the very first time the “first-time” series features showcased a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth quality, the author confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian thoughts for her, along with her best friend reciprocated, and additionally they proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian connection and they’re nonetheless collectively today and she actually is a grown-up from inside the military!

This indicates they will have however to get their unique connection out of the cabinet, which can be slightly puzzling, but whatever

. [


: ends up this story ended up being created before DADT was actually repealed, though it just adopted posted, consequently you’ll find nothing puzzling occurring right here. This is just straight-up nice in just about every method, unequivocally.]

The focus of the piece (and that’s extremely sexy and nice) is on the author’s development of
what lesbian gender IS

We’d never ever gone down on every additional, and I was convinced that’s what we’d meant as soon as we said we wanted to have sexual intercourse. (Now I know that absolutely even more to fucking than licking a woman’s vagina and contacting it everyday.)

She concludes:

I understand that many men and women disagree about what virginity ways to a homosexual girl, but virginity is completely personal, plus it truly depends upon whom you’re inquiring. People might state entrance must be included, but i do believe its around the individual dropping their virginity. If I feel i have lost my virginity, subsequently goddammit, We have!

I have spent the vast majority of day and afternoon observing wordpress, trying to figure out exactly what point i really could create about these pieces. I thought a large number about the reason we’d never distribute “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this website but can’t get past the reason that I would fear 50 people would vow never to come back right here together with remaning many-thousands of you would fight together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heating loss of the market. I pictured some one submitting “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via e-mail right after which I envisioned the editorial meeting where we might will that tale and all of say “NO” concurrently.

In looking for a place to gleam from these stories, I attempted to determine what you’ll think or say, and I can’t, and I need to finish this post as quickly as possible to accelerate the procedure of me personally discovering what you believe about these tales. Yup, for the first time since that time beginning Autostraddle, i have had gotten no clue what to say about something. Very maybe i ought to merely ask you to answer — what exactly is your reaction to these pieces?

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